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The Leeches Are Coming!

Mood: Mystified
Drinking: Fountains of soda

It was late. I was dreaming.

Boy and I were on vacation. Location? Absolutely no idea. But the LeeLoo was there with us. And from the (blurry, nondescript) place where we were staying, we could see, over yonder across the water, the famous Island of Cats.

The Island of Cats is, apparently, a happy place not unlike an 83-year-old spinster’s apartment, where cats of all shapes, sizes and temperaments roam free. They hang from the palm trees. They frolic in the sand. They prowl through the tall dune grass. They feast on island rodents. They leave land mines of kitty poo all over the beach. A magical place, indeed.

Anyway, apparently when planning our dream vacation we didn’t consider the danger of bringing the Loon (a.k.a. Extreme Cat Hater) on a trip within sniffing distance of the Isle of Cats.

It didn’t take long for dream LeeLoo to smell out the offending felines and take off, swimming (which she would never attempt during waking hours b/c she has a healthy fear of drowning), through the choppy blue waves to the Island of the Fierce and Foul Felines.

Boy and I were horrified and leapt into the water after her. (I couldn’t tell you if it was warm or cold. Apparently dream water has no temperature.) So there went the three of us, swim swim swimming. And since LeeLoo got there first, you would think she got to happily chase down oh, about a thousand furry beasties. But no.

Suddenly, the dream Island of Kitties became the Island of Sucking Leeches. Yes. Leeches.

So Boy and I spent the rest of my dream pulling long, brown, slimy leeches from underneath our skin (yes, they burrowed beneath the skin in a most nightmarish fashion). We magically had buckets of salt on hand, so we would carefully pour the salt onto the leeches and they would turn green.

Yes. Green. They wouldn’t die screaming or anything. They just turned green.

The end.

I usually don’t remember my dreams upon waking, but this one is just too weird to forget. I mulled it over on the ride to work this morning, which means I nearly crashed into about 7 different cars b/c I kept thinking about cats, leeches, and salt.

I have no idea what it means. Perhaps it was just an after-effect of the two Twinkies I consumed after 10 p.m. whilst watching The Daily Show.

I welcome your bizarre and hilarious interpretations.

-Lo, who definitely dreams in color.