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Dribs and Drabs

Mood: Cantankerous
Drinking: Chai Tea

On the train to work this morning, all the strangers looked somehow familiar.

*******

At work, the woman across the hall turns out to be the LOUDEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD…
“Hieeee!!! This is Blanky Blankerson. You have a Happyyyy New Year, Okaaaay??? Bubbyeeee!!”
Silence. Silence would be good right now.

*******

My sister recently discovered the blog of a girl we both went to high school with. The website includes recent photos which are equal parts enthralling and disturbing. Enthralling to see how someone you haven’t seen in umpteen years looks like a more bland and bloated version of their high school self, with flatter hair. Disturbing to see how someone you haven’t seen in umpteen years looks like a more bland and bloated version of their high school self, with the same knee-length Baptist-approved skirt.
She didn’t evolve.
She didn’t change, except to lose the perm and gain a stomach.
She still believes that rock music will send you to hell.
She scares me, a little.
I can’t stop reading between the lines of her blog…

*******

Last Wednesday, on a whim, I paid someone to seize scissors and cut me a bang.
Bang!
On my lunch hour. Now I look like Emily Strange. I’m even dressed in red and black.
Somebody take my picture, quick.

*******

the time must come
when all things fade
like memories of that perfect day

the leaves fall first
and then the shade
soon everything is bathed in gray

everything
but you

you alone stay true
to form and soon, now,
your brilliant blue will finally blow me away

*******

I recently purchased Neil Gaiman’s new book, Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders. I dropped an extra $5 on an autographed copy at Cody’s Books on Stockton. Just so I know that, one time, he held this book, too.
I can’t stop reading it.
Sometimes the simple genius of his words ignites such a fierce depression.

*******

For once, I’m behind the camera and my friends are in front of it. I’m interviewing five of them for a special video project.
Three down, two to go.
They are beautiful and brilliant. Anyone would want to know them, but I?
I am the lucky one.

*******

At a recent holiday dinner, I heard a man with a red moustache say,
“My house belongs to the Lord. And so does my car. So if Jesus wants to take them, that’s okay with me.”
I don’t believe him.

*******

My neighbors stopped by on Monday with their six-month old baby girl. She was dressed in a white hoodie with lamb ears.
Her head smelled like powder and hope.
(Baby heads have a universal smell, like puppy breath.)
I want one of each.

*******

Sometimes I take pictures of myself to try to see how I look from the outside.
The new camera Boy gave me for Christmas is 10 megapixels.
It helps.

*******

Friday night we’re going ice-skating. Outside. In California.
How cool are we?

*******

There’s a guy out there, in Internetland, who wonders if “Daedalus” is about him.
It’s really not.
And never will be. (She says peevishly.)

*******

At the moment, my toes are wearing a fresh coat of Chanel Fire nail polish.
Purchased in Paris. At the Chanel flagship store on Rue Cambon.
But my fingers are entirely naked, and my fabulously firey-red toes are hidden in boots.
Go figure.

*******

Last night I dreamed of kissing a girl.
When I woke up, I couldn’t remember what she looked like.

*******

I was talking with a friend recently about MySpace, and described it as “masturbatory”.
I’m sticking with my statement.
And my profile.

*******

K and I are this close (holds thumb and index an inch apart) to finishing my book.
Funny how the end takes so much longer than the beginning.

*******

-Lo, who doesn’t think Jesus really wants her for a sunbeam.

One Moment, Please

Mood: Chilled
Drinking: HtwoOh

This moment, this very one that’s happening right now, is the first chance I’ve had in more than a week to just breathe. You know, to sit and let your chest rise and fall, let yourself watch it go for a minute and just relax into the rhythm of air flowing in and out and in and out and in .

I used to have days — I remember them clearly — when I’d be bored to distraction. Absolutely at a loss for what to do with myself. My sister and I would solve the problem with “sister weekend”, which usually involved plunking down a great deal of cash for a large number of movie rentals, followed by extravagant orders of take-out Chinese. (mmmm. crab rangoons!)

But those days existed before Boy took up residence. Before LeeLoo arrived. Before web sites and cinepoems and California dreamin’.

Nowadays it’s all I can do to keep all the balls floating in their appropriate air spaces. But this weekend, this weekend is my gift to myself. It’s sanity weekend. Time to recharge and rejuvenate so I can start juggling again, come Monday morning.

Today has been delightful. I slept in, then threw the Loo in the Jeep for a trip down to the beach where I met a couple of friends and their one-eyed pooch, Riley. There was some wave-frolicking and sand-licking (on LeeLoo’s part), and then we came back home. Boy’s out motorcycle shopping with a friend (they’re supposed to be motorcycle shopping for the friend, not to increase Boy’s two-wheeled-vehicle collection, but we shall see…), so I’ve been catching up on my TiVo favorites — the ones that Boy refuses to watch. (Namely Veronica Mars and Battlestar Galactica, which are both amazing shows and it’s totally his loss.) I had stacked up a store of 3 new unwatched episodes each, since I’ve been too busy to watch them. But thanks to my friend TiVo, I’m all caught up with what’s going on in Neptune and New Caprica.

The rest of the weekend has a similarly leisure-filled schedule. Boy and I are doing a little photoshoot in the morning for our Christmas card (it involves costumes), and then K and I are meeting to finalize Chapter Two of the new book.

But that’s it. That’s all the worthwhile work I’m going to do this weekend. The rest of the hours will be filled with completely unproductive book-reading and beach-combing and general laying-about. How awesome is that!?

-Lo, who thinks that book-reading should be like breakfast-eating: doctor recommended for your good health.

Sing It

Mood: Oh So Busy
Drinking: Morning Cuppa

They say “time flies” but they lie. Because you can watch things fly — birds, planes, men in tights. But time? Time moves so fast, it just melts away and you don’t even notice until another month has disappeared and a new picture appears on the calendar.

Sometimes I can’t believe how much of the year is gone already. It certainly didn’t wait around for me to get my bearings.

And there is so much going on here, so much to do. I’m in the midst of editing cinepoem #13, planning the shoot for cinepoem #14, and trying to pry open my brain and pour thoughts into ink for a big “talk” I’m giving in a few months in Alabama. (So much to say, but how do I say it?)

Then there’s the quick (and much-needed!) girlfriend vacation I’m taking with S and the longer, bigger trip to Europe (Italy, Switzerland, France) with Boy. My sister is moving up north (hooray!), LeeLoo needs her bordatella vaccine, and there are no less than seven unfinished poems sitting on my desktop.

And in the middle of all this, K and I are working, working, working on Book Number Two, with chapter one nailed down and chapters two, three and four in the works. We are determined to finish it by Christmas, but I look at the calendar now and, my god! Christmas is well within reach — any day now they’ll be hanging holly and red in the windows of downtown department stores and the California Santas will be ringing their bells on street corners whilst wearing fake beards and shorts.

It’s all going by so fast, so fast.

So instead of finishing a poem or that pile of freelance writing that’s sitting over there on the dining room table, instead of even combing my hair and peeling off my pajamas, here I am sitting in the morning sun with the Loo sleeping on one side and my half-finished peanut butter toast waiting on the other, blogging (yes, I’ve admitted it now) about nothing, really. Nothing that will change the revolution of the earth, but it feels good to bang on the keyboard, anyway.

So here’s my bit of nothing on this gorgeous October morning while November breathes down my neck and December starts cracking her candy cane knuckles:

The soundtrack of my life. Yes. Silly. Inane. But such a great time-taker-upper. I saw it first on my sister-in-law’s blog, and decided to try it for fun. The results were uncanny and sometimes astonishing, but above all, entertaining and so here it is…

The list of life “events” was provided. As instructed, I opened my iTunes, set it to shuffle, and then wrote down the first heading as a song began to play. Then I moved on to the next heading during the next song. It’s all random, you see, as you let your iTunes score the soundtrack — and my iTunes, at least, turned out to be pretty damn good at the song-picking thing, as you can see from the snippets of lyrics I’m providing, just to prove my point. Here we go…

OPENING CREDITS: Medication by Garbage (Version 2.0)
“I’ve got to make a point these days to extricate myself.”
[I think it’s quite appropriate that Shirley gets the opening credits. Love. Her.]

WAKING UP: Strange Little Girl by Tori Amos (Strange Little Girls)
“One day you see a strange little girl feeling blue.”
[Tori always gets it right.]

FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL: You Stick It In Me by I Am X (Kiss + Swallow)
“I have blood, so hurt me.”
[Isn’t that the mantra for nerds and weirdos everywhere?]

FALLING IN LOVE: The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails (The Fragile)
“We’ll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide. I’ll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side.”
[Actually, the song right before this on the album (We’re In This Together) was played at my wedding reception. Long live NIN!]

FIGHT SONG: All the Rage by Massivivid (Dressed to the Nines, Armed to the Teeth)
“You think you’re all the rage, ‘cuz mine can’t be contained. But at least I’ll make a few dollars from my pain.”
[Massivivid was my old friend Franky‘s band, and this song was actually written about a particular person who caused quite a few fights in my life, so it’s rather creepy with the appropo!]

BREAKING UP: Limp by Fiona Apple (When the Pawn…)
“You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun.”
[One of my favorite lyrics ever, and very true when it comes to infighting in relationships.]

PROM: Breath Control by Recoil feat. Nicole Blackman (Liquid)
“Every woman has an itch and every nice girl secretly wants to switch.”
[Funny that a poem about kinky sex is the trax for “prom”.]

LIFE: Long Hard Road out of Hell by Marilyn Manson (Spawn Soundtrack)
“To be this young I’m oh so scared. I wanna live, I wanna love, but its a long hard road out of hell.”
[I once knew a girl who would play AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” every morning on her way to work. Not a great way to start your day, really.]

CAREER: An Angel Went Up in Flames by The Gas Band (Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack)
no lyrics…just noise
[One of my favorite movies…and an odd song to show b/c I *hate* country music. But this is all fiddlin’ and foot stompin’, which is much like my job, so that’s ok.]

MENTAL BREAKDOWN: I Go Crazy by Flesh for Lulu (Dome Room trax)
“This city’s mad in the head and sick in the soul.”
[Every time I hear this song, I think of Melvyn flailing about the dance floor at the Dome Room, back in the day.]

DRIVING: Stars by Lacuna Coil (HalfLife EP)
“We’ll take our hearts outside, leave our lives behind, I’ll watch the stars go out…”
[My fave Italian band, always good for road tripping.]

FLASHBACK: Always by Erasure (I Say I Say I Say)
“Am I here in vain? Hold on to the night. There will be no shame.”
[Of course, there must be an 80s song for the flashback!]

GETTING BACK TOGETHER: Come As You Are by Nirvana (Nevermind)
“Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.”
[‘Cuz isn’t that what getting back together is all about?]

WEDDING: Song for You by Katie Yearick (Demo)
“You feel like home when I’ve got no place else to run to. You occupy the vacancy behind my smile.”
[Wow. That’s weird. A long time ago, my friend Katie wrote this song for her sister, my sister, and me. And she sang it at my wedding!]

BIRTH OF A CHILD: One Day by Bjork (Debut)
“One day it will happen, one day it’ll all come true.”
[One day, indeed.]

MIDLIFE CRISIS: Spark by Tori Amos (From the Choirgirl Hotel)
“She’s addicted to nicotine patches. She’s afraid of a light in the dark. 6:58 are you sure where my spark is?”
[Tori wrote this song about her miscarriage. Hope that’s not what my midlife crisis will be about.]

FINAL BATTLE: Golgotha Tenement Blues by Machines of Loving Grace (The Crow Soundtrack)
“I am the city. I am the park. I am glow in the motherfucking dark.”
[In the midst of battle, it’s good to have the Crow on your side.]

DEATH SCENE: A Pain That I’m Used To by Depeche Mode (Playing the Angel)
“I’m not sure what I’m looking for anymore. I just know that I’m harder to console.”
[No soundtrack of my life would be complete without the Mode.]

FUNERAL SCENE: Like You by Evanescence (The Open Door)
“I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you. There’s room inside for two and I’m not grieving for you. I’m coming for you.”
[There she is! I was wondering when Amy would show up, and she comes at the end with the best song.]

That was fun. Now I have to put some real clothes on and extricate myself from the Internet. Au revoir.

-Lo, who likes to sing the theme song to Weeds — “Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky tacky…”

On Your Mark

Mood: Apocalyptic
Drinking: Wormwood Water

Okay. So. I don’t really have anything exciting to say today. M and I are knee-deep in the editing process of Pretty.Good.Girl., and as soon as that’s up and running, we’re starting on Alter Ego. And K and I are neck-deep in stuff for Book #2, sorting through piles of fabulous photos from PM and trying to decide between our three finalists for a title. (I can’t tell you yet–it’s a secret.) But really, that’s not what I wanted to say.

The truth is, I just couldn’t stop myself from logging an inane post on 6.6.06, just so I could say, “DAMIAN!” and giggle to myself as if I have done something very clever. Which, really, I haven’t.

So. Yeah. Uh. That will be all for now.

Or will it?

-Lo, whose neighbor could very well have her baby today and how cool would THAT be?

If You Can Make It Here…

Mood: I love my life.
Drinking: Water to wash down the sour patch kids.

I’m far from home right now, sitting on the 30th floor and staring out at the lights of dowtown Manhattan. Boy and I took a spontaneous trip to NYC with some friends this week. Our excuse was to see Depeche Mode at Madison Square Garden (and those boys rocked the Garden pretty goddamn hard last night), but really, what excuse do you need to see New York in December?

So we packed our bags and found a condo to sublet for a few days and here we are. Boy and I spent most of the day today wandering the East Village, shopping for random fun shit like a green canvas cap with a red glitter handgun on it (for me) and some pinstriped pajamas (for him). We also stopped on Christopher Street to ogle some puppies in the window and purchase a punked-out plaid collar for the Loon. I love vacation shopping.

Actually, I just love New York. Especially at this time of year. As one of our New Yorker friends said yesterday, You can be all cynical and grouchy at the crowds and the tourists (of whom, admittedly, I am one) and the slush and the rush and then you round the corner and see the angels and the glittering tree in front of the Rockefeller Center and all of the sudden you’re all melty and soft inside. (H&M on Fifth Avenue gives me that feeling, too.)

It’s very cold here, though, and snowed a bit today. I won’t miss that part at all when we head back home to the green and the palm trees. Every time our friend M (also from SF) slides on the sidewalk ice, he yells out, “I LOVE San Francisco!”

So between the cinepoem editing (Object should be done and up before Christmas), and the real life busy-ness and the spontaneous jaunts to the East Coast, I have begun work on yet another huge and exciting project…Book Number Two!

It’s not a tease this time. I have a designer (the fabulous Kathy Azada), a photographer (the lovely Patti Monaghen), and I’m hard at work. This book will be more than double the size of Angel Skin and even more gorgeous than she was. It should be finished by the summer of 2006, if all goes well.

That’s all for now. I’m off to soak my tired toes so I can put on my boots again and hit SoHo tomorrow.

P.S. Jo, I WISH YOU WERE HERE!

-Lo, who fell in love with lipstick #88 at Sephora today.

Girl Gang. Bang!

Mood: Is it Friday yet? No, really. Is it?
Drinking: Absofuckinlutely

Short, entirely uninspired update:

Two things in the works that I’ll tell ya about just so you feel all in the know and stuff…

#1: Cinepoem #4 has been chosen and is in the works. I recorded about 16 versions of it last night at M’s house and my throat now hurts from yelling. Yes, there are yelling versions. It’s an angry poem. Angry, angry, angry. And rhymey. Yes, shocking, I know.

And little C, this is one of those times when I wish you still lived up here, b/c I could SO use your help with the upcoming shoot for this. You would have about 63 great ideas for it. Call me and we’ll discuss.

#2: I am now in two girl gangs. Well, one is a club and one is a gang. But “gang” just sounds more scandalous, yes? The first is the Bitch Club, which is basically a ring of bitchy blogs. You’ll find the link to all the other bitches at the bottom my home page. Enjoy.

The second girl gang is the Girl Gang Distro, a snazzy little web site full of zines and things. And they’re carrying my book! Go check ’em out.

LeeLoo is also in a gang. She goes to this doggie daycare place once a week (I know, I know, I spoil my dog). Anyway, she’s formed a girl gang with these other two boxer girls named Wilma and Ruby. The three of them apparently rule the school and push all the other pups around. Yep. That’s my dog! Maybe I should make them all Pink Ladies jackets?

Alright, I have to go suck down some more diet coke and get something done today. I am once again dogsitting my sister’s giant pooch, the Yodes, and he put me in a foul mood this morning, leaning up against my legs and covering my black tights in white pooch hair whilst I was strapping on my Mary Janes. I’m still picking out spiky little Yoda hairs. Grrrrrrrrr!

-Lo, who has read the 6th Harry Potter book and doesn’t have a thing to say about it.