Girl , you know it’s true…

Mood: Blinken Nod
Drinking: The thing with the vanilla and the coke

It’s just a Monday kind of Monday and I am currently enjoy the humiliation of li’l Ashlee Simpson on SNL. It’s like throwing babes to the lions to watch these little upstart poptarts falter and fail. And I do get *such* perverse satisfaction from watching it all go down. Much more than is healthy, I’m sure. Anyway. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, just visit this site: http://lipsync.us.nyud.net:8090/ (who the hell had time to build an entire site just for this freakshow, anyway?)

Also, what’s up with all these little sisters dyeing their hair brown and snatching at fame? (Nicky Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Solange Knowles, etc.) Nepotism is everywhere.

One more rant along the same lines before I get off the dead horse: WEARING A PUNK TANK TOP MAKES YOU NEITHER PUNK NOR ROCK, BITCH! Come back and talk to me when you’re utterly broke, purple-haired, safety-pinned, snaggle-toothed and have the anarchy symbol tattooed on your dimpled ass and then I might not be offended by your glittery punk tank top. (That goes for you, too, Avril!)

Ok. In news of the not-so-Access-Hollywood variety, I had a scandalously exciting weekend doing a whole lot of, erm, painting. Let’s just say that I have always wanted a red room and now, thanks to Bruce and Carly and Lowe’s paint department, I have one! It’s gorgeous. And shiny. And red. I want to lick it, it’s so pretty. I never thought that painting your very own house could be so satisfying and so utterly exhausting. I’m now propping my eyelids up with toothpicks and it’s only 3 in the afternoon.

Hey, I’ve been getting lots of emails from lots of you who think the new web site is the bees knees, and I thank you. And I’ve passed your flirtations and flattery on to my web guru, Chris, as well. You can expect some new and fabulous entertaining devices on my web site within the next month or two…I’m working on a project (think music video but then take away the music and put in poetry and there you have it) with some friends and we should have something scintillating to show you soon. (“soon” being such a relative word.) But still. Something is in the works, just for you.

So. Stay tuned. And stay away from Ashlee Simpson and her lawnmower mullet-cut. And now I must go shoot up some caffeine. Or find new toothpicks.

-Lo, who likes lawmowers, but not mullets.