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Body Double

Mood: Cold
Drinking: Diet Dr. Pepper

Body Double

I have sex dreams
about my first-grade boyfriend.

In the dreams, he appears
as neither a first-grader
or my boyfriend,

nor does he bear any resemblance
to his high-school self
that rakish punk
in Vision Streetwear
who laughed and said “Never”
when asked if he’d go out with me,
not knowing
I was passing by the classroom
at that exact moment
and overheard the whole thing.

He doesn’t look like
his current self, either.
There is no tattoo sleeve,
no vermilion mohawk,
no vestige of the sullen man
he has become.

In dreams exist
what could have been
but never was
and shows up now
only to remind me
that waking life is better.

-Lo, taking liberties with adjectives.

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