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Sugar, Give Me Sugar

Mood: Slightly breezy
Drinking: Cran/Ras Snapple

Had a little virtual banter yesterday with some blog commenters, most of whom were perfect strangers, about how hetero girls often get crushes on other girls. I don’t think it’s a big deal and don’t really get what all the hullabaloo is about. I’m a straight little arrow, but come on, women are SO MUCH PRETTIER than men. I’d rather look at a naked woman than a naked man any day of any week of any year. So I got a little sugar in me, as my friend C would say. But I’m not a gay lady. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

But some of the more uptight people in the world seem to think that if you start crushin’ on someone who shares your version of genitalia, well, then, you must be a little light in the loafers. Going the wrong way up the turnpike. Playing for the other team. Queerer than a $3 bill. A Bon-Bon Jovi. A real soprano. A jughandler. A friend of Dorothy. Must I go on?

All of which is just ridiculous. Actually, I think the whole homosexual “issue” in this country is ridiculous. I have many gay friends and there’s nothing “abnormal” about any of them. So there are boys who like boys and girls who make out with girls. SO. WHAT. Why does anybody want to make such a big deal out of it? Are we as Americans, as left over Puritans, *that* afraid of sex that we must banish homosexuals to dark basements and keep our precious marriage licenses out of their grubby hands? (Which could lead to a raging tirade about the “sanctity of marriage” in the age of Britney Spears. Puhleese. But I will refrain.) It’s just one more thing that makes me ashamed of my country.

But I digress. Because the real reason for this post is my list. See, I keep a Top Ten list of girls that I have crushes on. The top 5 rarely change, because they are goddesses.

And so, (trumpet toot), here’s my Top Ten “Sugar” List, the Famous version. I have a real-people version, too, but you’re not gettin’ your hands on that one…
(Click on the names for evidence…)

10. Scarlett Johansson:

Scarlett’s fairly new on the list, b/c my friend C’s gotten me hooked.

9. Gwen Stefani:

Gwen comes and goes, but with this new Harajuku/Alice in Wonderland thing she’s got goin’ on, she’s definitely on the list!

Selma Blair:

She’s kinda super skinny, but I have this picture of her dressed as Emily the Strange. Uh-huh.

Amy Lee:

Evanescence is my guilty pleasure. And I just have a thing for the poetic girls with the smooth pale skin, long black hair and big stompy boots. (Does that mean I’m in love with myself?)

Asia Argento:

Gotta love the Scarlet Diva. The Italian accent doesn’t hurt a bit, either.

Kate Winslet:

Kate jumped up to the top 5 after Eternal Sunshine. Love. Her.

Liv Tyler:

Something about those lips, that hair, those super-long legs. I’ve had a crush since that first Aerosmith video where she was swinging around a pole. Alicia Silverstone was in that video, too, but I had eyes only for Liv.

Monica Bellucci:

As our Gnashville friend M once said, “Monica Bellucci is sex.”

Shirley Manson:

Such a naughty redheaded Scottish lass. She had me from the first with her smudgy black eyeliner. (And the big stompy boots, once again.)

Angelina Jolie:

If I have to explain this to you, you’re not going to get this whole entry, anyway, so you might as well troll about the ‘net elsewhere. Angelina is the goddess of all goddesses and that’s all there is to it.

-Lo, who thinks that Britney is a skankier ho than Christina ever could be!

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